Harrison Forbes is a professional dog trainer and author of the book, Heart of a Dog:What Challenging Dogs Have Taught Me About Love, Trust, and Second Chances. Consider this quote from his book, “Dogs do the types of things we should do more often, and the things they don’t get involved in – well, we should skip them too…”
It was never my intention to have one dog, let alone two; but, somehow Jake and Bella have made their way into my heart and life. As a result, I have identified seven lessons that they have taught me. Lessons we can all be reminded of from time to time.
1. Move On: Have you ever noticed that dogs don’t hold a grudge? My dog Jake can test my patience and push my buttons much like my daughter, Anna. He eats things that are unnatural to a canine diet, he is constantly under my feet, and destruction seems to be his middle name. Daily I am fussing at Jake – daily. I get cranky with him – daily. With most dogs, if you were cranky with them a minute ago, (even if it was their fault) they will still greet you in the next moment as if nothing negative ever transpired. So it should be with us as well. Forgiveness is a tall order, especially if someone has hurt us. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you condone someone else’s behavior; it just means you are willing to let it go so as not to be trapped by their misbehavior. Remember: you know you have forgiven someone when their name passes over your lips without bitterness or the need to seek retribution.
2. All You Need Is Love: Our dogs simply love us for who we are. They don’t have a measurement chart of how we compare to others, our status in the world is unimportant, the car/house we own is inconsequential…it is simply unconditional. Bella and Jake show their love for me in the only way they can – kisses, cuddling with me, and following me around. They want my love in return. Bella will nuzzle me in an effort to get me to scratch her back. Jake will flop over on his back. That is my cue that a belly scratch is in order. In our own relationships with others, we should strive to focus more on the value someone brings to our lives – their love, friendship, and kindness. While dogs know how to give us love, they are also really good at receiving it as well. For many of us, we have difficulty allowing others to love us – keeping them at arm’s length. Don’t doubt your value. Let someone love you.
3. The Balance Between Work and Play: We know the importance of a balanced life. We must work but play is just as important. Our dogs like to keep things light and not too serious all the time. Playing with my dogs is a daily activity. We wrestle, play fetch, and run around the house in a modified chase game. Even when I am not in the mood to play, their energy and frisk invests is contagious. By the time we are finished, my mood is lighter. Working too much can lead to burnout; so…play. Play renews our spirit and helps us to connect with who we are.
4. Know Who You Are: My dogs know their names and will come running when called. You know your name too, of course; but, do you know who you are? Not your title, your job, but you. It is so vital that you have a true sense of yourself. This identity makes it easier to set boundaries, stand firmly in your beliefs, and not be easily swayed.
5. The Art of Communication: I have a friend who has effectively trained his dog to be a successful hunting dog. His commands are clear and simple. When they experience a break down in communication, my friend doesn’t give up and walk away. Instead, he reteaches and patiently works until his dog can obey the command once again. Communication is hard to maintain. So often our words can hurt. Instead of taking the time to repair the damage, we just walk away. On a similar note, we should always speak up when things don’t feel right or we are hurt. My dog Bella has a tender spot underneath a front leg. If Grace or Anna pick her up the wrong way, she will yelp in pain. Likewise, when Jake feels uneasy or hears an unfamiliar noise, he won’t hesitate to let me know with a loud bark. Are you willing to speak up when you are hurt or unsure? You should. Listen to your instincts; God gave them to you for a reason.
6. We All Need to be Acknowledged: When I get home each day, Jake runs around in a circle and will bark until I acknowledge his presence. Even Bella will follow me around until I stop and “ask” about her dog day. Just like my dogs, we all need to feel important to someone; greeted with enthusiasm; reassured that all who leave will return; and be asked how we are. We are social beings and need interaction with one another.
7. Fenced In Yards and Beyond: My dogs know the boundaries of our yard and while they may not understand why it is there, they know not to go beyond that fence without me. In another sense, they are always eager to get on a leash and go exploring. What about you? It is good to go beyond the scenery you are comfortable with and explore new places. There is so much to learn, see, and new people to meet. We grow as a person with each new experience. Go explore.
While I never intended to own two dogs, they have certainly taken ownership of my heart. I am forever grateful that they show me daily a better way to go through this life – live in the moment, love others authentically, make time for play, be true to yourself, talk it out, pet one another, and go exploring.
How then will you live, Reader? I hope you live well and like a dog.
Bent, Not Broken - My Life Well-Lived 