Choosing Happiness

Have you really thought about happiness? I believe that happiness is a choice that we make – we choose it. This isn’t some “Polly Anna” way of living nor does it ignore the fact that life is tough, people will hurt you, and you don’t always get what you want. This way of living is the ability to look through those circumstances and be happy with all those blessings you do have. Let me pose a couple of questions to you. Dig deep, I mean to the core of your soul deep, and answer honestly.

1. If you could wave a magic wand and create the life of your dreams (don’t think in terms of winning the lottery here, imagine yourself happy) what would that look like?

2. (Most important question) What are you willing to do/give up in order to make that life possible?

That first question is one that I’m sure many of us could answer. The second question puts the teeth into that dream, doesn’t it?

I posed this question to a friend of mine lately as we discussed things she was struggling with in her own life. It is like she observed: we want those things, but most people don’t know how or are not willing to do what it takes to make it happen. We are waiting for our Fairy Godmother to come along.

Uh-huh. Not me. Life is too short for me to wait for my best life to begin…sometimes you have to make it happen. For the most part, I have reached a place of contentment and happiness in my life. It is by no means perfect; nor should anyone think that happiness equates itself to perfectionism. But, I’m happy with where I find myself on my life’s journey today. It wasn’t easy getting here and I wallowed in muck for years; but I always believed that my life could look and feel different. The test came in finding the courage to make it happen. Being happy at this station of my life doesn’t mean that my best life has been fully realized either. I have much more I wish to accomplish and create. That list resides in a special notebook that I keep. Along with that list an item analysis of what I will need to do in order to make those things happen. Some are feasible now; others will have to wait. The point is, I am constantly working toward my best life – that magic wand scenario I posed in question one. I know what many of you must be thinking: that all sounds great, but what if those things never come to pass, will you still be happy? Yes, I hope I will always choose to be happy in whatever station of life I find myself.

So….my happiness list.
1. I have a goal that in 10-12 years, I will live on the coast. My place won’t be very big, room for one and a guest from time to time. Come visit but don’t stay too long. Just kidding.
2. My children will be on their own path to their best life. I try not to have any preconceived notions about what that will look like for them. I want them to fulfill their life’s calling and find happiness in whatever they choose to do.
3. I have professional goals that will remain to myself. The field of education is my arena to make a positive impact and I have goals to do just that.
4. I have a personal goal as an author. This part of my best life is the one that looms over me. It will require an amount of time that I currently don’t have just yet.
5. Continue to travel and mark the following places off of my bucket list: Costa Rica, Roatan, Hondura; Machu Piccu; Mt. Kilimanjaro; Greece, Greek Isles and Turkey; and India.
6. There are certain things I want to learn or do: learn how to surf, learn how to snowboard, ski in the Andes Mountains and the Italian Alps, speak another language (probably Spanish) with more fluency than how to order food in a restaurant.

Nothing on my happiness list includes an enormous pot of money, fame, big house, etc. Instead, my list includes those things which will continue to allow me to grow in all facets of my being, help others realize their best life professionally, and set my little elves on their own path in life.
I realize that in making these things happen, I will ultimately make choices that will not fall in line with those around me. While I appreciate everyone’s opinion and input, this is MY life. I refuse to live someone else’s watered down version of it. This is a painful part of living your best life – knowing that other people will not always approve. When I decided to leave my marriage, the disapproval rating was overwhelming at times. I have chosen to love people that others disapproved of; so much so that I have lost my relationships with several family members and friends. I hated losing the approval and connection with those people; but I would have also regretted, far greater, in missing out on the opportunity to love. I mean – really, really love another human being. The opportunity to walk (albeit briefly) a portion of your life’s journey with someone who accepts and loves you for who you are and nothing more – well, that is priceless. Some love stories fill volumes of pages in your life. Others are short stories, but their impact can be life-changing and sustainable for a long, long time.
At the end of my life, I know I will give an account of every wrongdoing, bad choice, and hurt that my actions have inflicted on others. I have asked for forgiveness for those things. I believe Him when He said they are cast as far as the east is from the west. I also hope that on that day, God will smile favorably on me for the simple fact that He chose to give me life and I lived a life of abundance through Him. I want the scars, the lines on my face, the softness of my heart, my countenance to all be evidence of choosing happiness.
Have you lived this God-given life to its fullest? Have you honored Him by pushing beyond the norm and choosing happiness? I can think of no greater way to honor Him, than by living – really living.
Live well, Reader, and choose happiness.